I don’t claim to have all the answers – far from it. But I’ve been working in engineering and high-tech sales for over 30 years, and I’ve picked up a few things. Since I started writing my book, You Have What it Takes: Success Strategies for Women at Work, I’ve learned even more from the women I interviewed. Along the way, I’ve become passionate about helping other women succeed. The book is part of that. But there are smaller things I do to try to help – and so can you.

Sometimes it just takes a smile of encouragement and a kind word to brighten someone’s day. Notice when someone you are interacting with – a bank teller, checkout clerk, telephone technical support – is doing a great job. Tell them about it. You can even get specific: “I really appreciate how you spread the weight around in the different bags so I can carry them more easily.”

Find people at work who might need a little guidance or encouragement, and offer it. It doesn’t have to be a formal mentorship. Just share your knowledge or experience. You lose nothing by helping others. In the process, you will get a reputation for being helpful, and your company will benefit.

Mentoring strangers?

At a recent conference, I was visiting booths in the trade show, talking with companies to see if there was a potential fit for my technology. This was not a big convention-center type event, but much smaller. Table top displays with one or two people there to demonstrate their wares. The main room resembled a high school gymnasium.

One young woman was at a table hidden in the corner up on the gymnasium stage, and I made a point of going to talk with her. I asked what she was promoting, and she flashed me a look of terror, then looked around as if she lost something. Finally, she started to explain her technology, gesturing as she spoke. Part way through, she flushed and apologized, “I’m sorry! I’m talking too much with my hands.”

Don’t apologize

I smiled at her encouragingly. “No, don’t apologize. Talking with your hands is fine. You are doing great.”

“Usually my boss does these things and he went to get lunch and I don’t know what I’m doing. And I’m an introvert so I’m not very good at talking about things.” She twisted her hands together and looked down.

“Okay. Take a deep breath. You can do this. What is your role on this project?”

She explained that she wrote the software they were promoting.

“So, you know what it does, right? Just tell me about it, in your own words.”

She then calmly and eloquently spoke about her software. She gestured with her hands. Showed me a demo. When she got fear out of the way, she was perfectly capable of explaining it.

I told her that I am also an introvert – or at least partly one. That it is hard sometimes to talk about my technology to strangers. But that the more I understand something, the easier it is to talk about it.

“You wrote the software. Nobody knows it better than you. Own that, and speak from what you know. You will be fine.”

Her smile as I walked away gave me hope. Perhaps she would find it a little easier the next time someone asks her a question. Or she would breathe a sigh of relief when her manager returned, and go back to her keyboard. Either way, for the few minutes she spoke with me, she was awesome.

No apologies

And seriously, don’t apologize when you are putting forth an idea. It’s a pet peeve of mine, and something I hear all too often from women. Be confident in what you are saying. If you are not confident, fake it. If you are sorry for having an idea, nobody really wants to hear it. You’ve already killed it.

Check yourself. You may not even know you are doing it. “I’m sorry” rarely has a place in business – unless of course you are apologizing for a mistake.

And this concludes a mini mentor moment. See how easy that was?