Generational Change

I have had many names and titles through my life and career, and on June 28 I added another one: Nana. I couldn't be more proud.

Within seconds of my son and daughter-in-law announcing the pregnancy, I was excited about the baby. Twenty minutes later, it hit me. I had someone else to worry about. My fierce motherly (grandmotherly?) instincts kicked in, and I thought of all the things that might happen to this dear child not yet born. I remembered the challenges that a baby brings to a household. I worried for the health of the mother, and the baby…and what college he or she will want to attend.

So, I got a little ahead of myself.

A few deep breaths, and many months for us all to prepare. I bought a crib, naturally. And a baby bath tub. Then I thought, am I really going to be the one giving the baby a bath in my house? Being a grandmother is different from being a mother. I tucked the tub away in an upstairs bedroom, just in case.

The worries return

But, what if the baby was a girl? What would the world be like by the time she is grown and entering the work force? Would she still be earning 80 cents to the dollar of her male coworkers? Would she have to endure the large and small humiliations and fight the same battles we have fought? I hoped not, but knew that her parents and I could help her navigate the world and arm her with strategies for success.

Or maybe, the baby would be a boy. He would have some privileges, for sure. But we would teach him the right way to treat women – both at home and in the workplace. His father – my son – would model respect for him. His mother – my daughter-in-law – would not tolerate him mistreating others. His aunt – my daughter – would show what a smart, hard-working #STEM woman can do. And from his grandmother – me – he would learn that a woman can love her family beyond belief and still have a successful career.

Raising the next generation

These are not idle worries. Changing the world takes generations. Those of us raising children need to be mindful of the example we are setting, both for our girls and our boys. We may not be able to choose how we were raised, but we can help mold the future generations to be more open and tolerant and equal. Teach your girls to be strong and to speak their minds. Teach your boys to be respectful and inclusive. In fact, teach your children of whatever gender to be strong, respectful, and fair. Show them that men and women can work together successfully.

But don’t pretend that the path will be easy. If young women come into the workplace from a completely sheltered existence, they may be floored by the first encounter with discrimination. The ideas and suggestions in Savvy Women: Gaining Ground at Work can show what to look out for, and how to handle different situations. Just as you teach them about “stranger danger” when they are small, you need to help them recognize when they are being treated poorly in school or in the workplace.

It’s a boy

My son and his wife had a baby boy, and I am in love. I am suddenly filled with hope. Watching my son with his son gives me goosebumps, and I know that all will be right with the world. This boy will grow into a strong, hard-working, and kind man, like his father. This boy will love his mother and treat girls and women with respect.

If he doesn’t, he will have his Nana to answer to.